Taking Back Control

Genna Marie • February 9, 2025

Taking Back Control: How to Stop Letting Others’ Moods and Comments Dictate Your Emotions

Have you ever felt like someone’s bad mood or offhand comment ruined your entire day? Maybe a co-worker’s negativity left you drained, or a loved one’s criticism triggered self-doubt. It’s easy to absorb the emotions of those around us, but when we allow others to dictate how we feel, we give away our personal power.

The truth is, while we can’t control what others say or do, we can control how we respond. I have used that message in every aspect of my personal and professional life for many years. Learning to reframe and react positively can protect our peace and help us stay grounded in our own emotional well-being.

Why Do We Let Others Affect Us?

We’re wired for connection, which means we naturally respond to the energy and emotions of those around us. This can be helpful in building empathy, but it becomes harmful when we internalize negativity or let external factors dictate our inner world.

Common reasons we absorb others’ moods and comments:

• Validation-seeking: We tie our worth to how others see us.

• Conflict avoidance: We feel responsible for fixing their emotions.

• Emotional sensitivity: We struggle to separate their feelings from our own.

• People-pleasing tendencies: We take on others’ burdens to keep the peace.

If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—it’s possible to shift this pattern and reclaim your emotional independence.

How to Reframe and Respond Positively

One of the things I focus on in my coaching is helping people reframe their thoughts and actions. People often think of this as simply “looking on the bright side,” but for me, reframing is about something deeper—it’s about recognizing what you need in a situation. It’s not just about positivity; it’s about clarity, boundaries, and self-protection.

For example, sometimes setting a boundary for yourself might feel like you’re “giving in” or not standing your ground, but in reality, you’re choosing to protect your peace. Reframing allows you to see that stepping back isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s about responding in a way that serves you, rather than reacting out of frustration, hurt, or obligation.

Here’s how you can start practicing this in daily life:

1. Recognize What’s Yours and What’s Theirs

When someone is upset, take a moment to ask yourself:

• Is this my emotion, or am I absorbing theirs?

• Is this comment about me, or is it a reflection of their own struggles?

By identifying the source, you can avoid carrying emotional weight that doesn’t belong to you.

2. Pause Before Reacting

Instead of immediately responding with frustration, self-doubt, or defensiveness, practice the pause:

• Take a deep breath.

• Remind yourself that their words or mood are not a reflection of your worth.

• Respond with intention, not impulse.

This simple practice can prevent knee-jerk reactions and help you maintain your composure.

3. Reframe Negative Comments

When faced with criticism or negativity, try to reframe it:

• Instead of: “Why are they being so rude to me?”

Try: “They might be having a bad day, but that doesn’t mean I have to take it personally.”

• Instead of: “I must have done something wrong.”

Try: “Their reaction is about them, not me.”

This shift helps you detach from their negativity and stay in control of your emotions.

4. Set Emotional Boundaries

Protect your energy by setting limits:

• If someone is constantly negative, limit your exposure or change the topic.

• If a comment stings, remind yourself that you define your worth, not others.

• If a conversation is escalating, politely disengage: “I hear you, but I need to step away from this for now.”

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about keeping yourself emotionally safe.

5. Shift Your Focus to What You Can Control

You can’t control how others feel or what they say, but you can control:

• Your response

• Your self-talk

• The energy you bring to a situation

When negativity arises, ask yourself: “How do I want to feel today?” Then choose actions that align with that feeling.

6. Surround Yourself with Positive Reinforcement

If you find yourself dwelling on someone’s words or mood, counteract it with positivity:

• Listen to uplifting music or a motivational podcast.

• Repeat affirmations like “I am in control of my emotions” or “I choose peace over reaction.”

• Engage with people who bring positive energy into your life.

By reinforcing positivity, you train your mind to stay resilient in the face of negativity.

Final Thoughts: Reclaim Your Emotional Power

Other people’s emotions and words don’t have to dictate your day. By recognizing what’s yours, pausing before reacting, reframing negativity, setting boundaries, and focusing on what you can control, you take back your power.

In my coaching, I help people see that reframing isn’t about false positivity—it’s about finding clarity and making decisions that align with what you truly need. Sometimes that means standing firm, and other times it means stepping back for your own well-being. Neither is a sign of weakness. Both are a sign of emotional strength.

You are not responsible for fixing others’ emotions, but you are responsible for protecting your own peace. The more you practice these shifts, the more you’ll find yourself responding with confidence, clarity, and calm—no matter what’s happening around you.

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Staying Grounded in Uncomfortable Conversations

By Genna Marie • July 27, 2025

How to hold onto yourself when things get tense Uncomfortable conversations are a part of life. Whether it’s a disagreement with a partner, an awkward talk with a family member, or confronting a friend who crossed a line — tough moments will find us. And when they do, it’s easy to lose your footing. You might find yourself going silent to avoid conflict, saying things you don’t mean, or walking away feeling drained and unsettled. But what if you could stay grounded, clear, and true to yourself — even when the conversation feels messy or hard? ⸻ 1. Anchor Yourself Before You Speak Before the conversation even starts, check in with yourself: • What am I feeling right now? • What do I hope will come from this conversation? • What do I want to make sure I don’t compromise on? Example Practice: Take 3 minutes to write in your notes app: • “I feel frustrated because I haven’t felt heard.” • “I want more understanding — not just to be ‘right.’” • “I don’t want to leave this conversation doubting my worth.” Even this brief prep work can shift your entire approach. ——— 2. Lead With Curiosity, Not Defense It’s natural to feel defensive when something lands the wrong way. But instead of jumping in with: “That’s not true.” Try: “Can you say more about what you mean?” “I hear you — but I’m not sure I understand yet.” This keeps the conversation from spiraling and helps you stay present without needing to agree. Example Practice: Pause for just 5 seconds before replying — and choose a “curious opener” instead of a rebuttal. Write a few go-to lines you can use when your emotions rise: • “I want to understand your point, but I’m having a reaction right now.” • “Let’s slow this down — this matters to me.” ⸻ 3. Listen to Hear — Not Just to Respond In uncomfortable conversations, it’s easy to listen while preparing your defense. But when we do that, we miss the actual message — and conversations become battles instead of bridges. Example Practice: Try this during your next tough conversation: • When they finish speaking, repeat back what you heard: “What I’m hearing is that you felt left out when I didn’t include you in that decision. Is that right?” • Let them clarify if needed. Only then — after they feel heard — share your perspective. This doesn’t mean you have to agree. It means you’re choosing connection over combat. ⸻ 4. Protect Your Calm Without Playing Small You can be calm and firm. You can hold your boundary without raising your voice. Example Practice: Practice a few lines aloud before the conversation — just like you’d rehearse a presentation: • “I want to continue this conversation, but not like this.” • “It’s important to me that we both feel respected — and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now.” • “Let’s pause. I want to respond with care, not defensiveness.” ______ How I Can Help If you’re facing a conversation that feels overwhelming, emotional, or uncomfortable — you don’t have to go in alone. I offer 1:1 coaching sessions to help you: • Sort through your thoughts and emotions beforehand • Understand your needs and how to express them • Prepare your language with confidence and care • Stay regulated and grounded — no matter the outcome Together, we’ll practice clarity without defensiveness. Boundaries without shutdown. Truth without fear. Message me to book a session. You deserve support that honors your voice — and your peace.

Taking Back Control