Why Moving On From a Relationship Feels So Hard

Genna Marie • November 17, 2025

Why Moving On From a Relationship Feels

So Hard



Another thing that holds people back? Fear — in many different outfits.


You might be afraid of:

• Starting over in dating, especially if it’s been years

• Hurting your children or disrupting your family

• Being judged by friends, family, or your community

• Financial instability or solo parenting

• The unknown: What if this is as good as it gets? What if I regret leaving?


You might even worry about being labeled as “the one who gave up” or “the bad guy,” even if you’ve tried everything you know how to try.


Fear loves to tell stories that sound like facts.

And when we’re scared, staying in something familiar can feel easier than stepping into something uncertain… even if the familiar is painful.



Comfort Can Be Its Own Kind of Trap


We don’t talk about this enough: sometimes we stay because it’s comfortable.


Not necessarily happy.

Not necessarily aligned.

Just… known.


You know the routines.

You know their moods.

You know which topics to avoid to keep the peace.


There can even be tenderness and good memories mixed into the hard parts. That emotional “in-between” makes it even more confusing. It’s not all bad — and that can keep you questioning yourself for a long time.



Guilt: “If I Leave, Am I Selfish?”


Guilt is another heavy weight that keeps you stuck.


You might feel guilty for:

• Wanting more than what you’re getting

• Not being able to “be happy” with what you have

• Thinking about how your decision will impact kids, pets, or extended family

• Knowing that your partner still wants to make it work (or says they do)


Here’s the truth I remind clients of often:


Wanting emotional safety, respect, and connection is not selfish.

Staying in something that is slowly draining you doesn’t make you noble.


You’re allowed to acknowledge your needs without labeling yourself as the villain.



The Identity Question: “Who Am I Without This Relationship?”


For many people, especially in long-term relationships, your role as partner, spouse, or co-parent can become a big piece of your identity.


So when you think about leaving, it can feel like you’re leaving yourself.


Questions might swirl:

• Who am I if I’m not part of this couple?

• What will my life even look like on my own?

• Will anyone want me after this?

• Do I even know how to be alone?


There’s a learning curve in rediscovering yourself — and that can feel scary. But it’s also where some of the deepest healing and growth live.



Gentle Questions to Ask Yourself


Instead of forcing a quick decision, try pausing and getting honest with yourself.


You might ask:

• Am I staying because it’s truly right for me — or because I’m scared to leave?

• If nothing changed in this relationship for the next year or five years, how would I feel?

• What parts of myself feel small, silenced, or shut down right now?

• When I picture my future, does this relationship support the version of me I’m becoming — or the version of me I used to be?


Sometimes the answers aren’t clean or simple. That’s okay. You’re not doing it wrong — you’re being human.



Moving From Stuck to “In Motion”


“Moving on” doesn’t have to mean waking up one day and completely changing your life.


Sometimes, moving on starts quietly:

• Admitting the truth to yourself

• Naming what you want out loud, even if you’re not ready to act on it yet

• Sharing what you’re feeling with a trusted friend, therapist, or coach

• Setting small boundaries inside the relationship

• Exploring what solo time or independence could look like for you


You don’t have to rush. You also don’t have to stay frozen.


You’re allowed to take one honest step, and then another, and then another.



How I Support Clients Through This


This is the space I hold for so many of my clients — that raw, confusing middle part where you’re trying to decide:

• Do I stay and rebuild?

• Do I leave and rebuild on my own?

• Who am I if either of those things happens?


We slow everything down.

We look at your patterns, your fears, your hopes, and your values.

We talk about grief, not just logistics.

We explore what it would mean to choose yourself without abandoning your compassion for others.


You don’t have to carry this decision alone or pretend you’re fine while you’re falling apart inside.


If you’re in this place — stuck between holding on and letting go — I’d love to walk with you through it.


By Genna Marie November 10, 2025
Why Deep Friendships Matter Just as Much as Relationships
By Genna Marie October 20, 2025
Talking About Intimacy Without the Awkwardness
By Genna Marie October 13, 2025
When Love Languages Collide: Why You’re Missing Each Other Without Realizing It
By Genna Marie October 2, 2025
When Everything Feels Like “Too Much”: Finding Focus in the Overwhelm
By Genna Marie September 17, 2025
This is a subtitle for your new post
By Genna Marie September 8, 2025
Finding Balance: Loving a Partner Through Challenges While Caring for Yourself
By Genna Marie August 27, 2025
The Trap of Comparisons: Why They Hurt More Than They Help
By Genna Marie August 11, 2025
When most people hear the word loss, they immediately think of death. And while the death of a loved one is one of the most profound forms of grief we can experience, it’s not the only one. Loss can take many forms — the end of a relationship, a job you loved, a friendship you thought would last forever, your health changing in a way you didn’t expect, or the quiet moment when you realize a dream you’ve carried for years will never happen. Some losses are big and loud, others are quiet and subtle — but all of them can leave a mark. ⸻ The Many Faces of Loss Loss can look like: • The end of a relationship — Breakups, divorces, or even the drifting apart from someone you once considered family. • Losing a job or career path — When your role in the world shifts, it can shake your sense of identity and security. • The dream you thought you’d achieve — The future you imagined for yourself, whether it’s a career, family, or lifestyle. • Loss of health — Illness, injury, or aging can change what you’re able to do, and with it, how you see yourself. • Loss of a version of yourself — Growing and changing means leaving behind old chapters, even if they were good ones. • Loss through death — A loved one, pet, or chosen family member whose absence changes the shape of your world. These experiences may not all come with sympathy cards or formal rituals, but they are still grief-worthy. ⸻ Why These Losses Are Often Dismissed Society has a way of ranking grief. Death is viewed as “real” loss, while everything else often gets brushed off as “just a phase” or “something you’ll get over.” • End a relationship? “You’ll find someone else.” • Lose your job? “At least you have time to figure out what’s next.” • Dream no longer possible? “Just pick a new one.” While these comments might be meant to comfort, they often do the opposite. They send the message that your loss isn’t valid — that you should move on quickly, without giving it the attention and care it deserves. ⸻ The Cost of Skipping Over Loss When you try to push through too quickly, your grief doesn’t disappear. It hides. And over time, it can leak out in ways you may not even connect to the original loss: • Difficulty trusting people or opportunities • Resentment or bitterness toward others • Feeling stuck or unmotivated • Numbing yourself through distraction or overwork • Struggling to imagine a future that excites you We can’t heal from what we refuse to face. ⸻ Why Acknowledging Loss Matters Grief, no matter the source, is your mind and body’s way of adjusting to a new reality. Ignoring it is like trying to walk on a broken leg without a cast — you may keep moving, but you’re not healing. Acknowledging loss means: • Naming what you’ve lost and why it mattered • Allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up, without rushing the process • Recognizing that loss changes you — and that’s not always a bad thing ⸻ How to Begin Processing Loss You don’t have to have all the answers or a “plan” for moving forward right away. But you can start with small steps: 1. Name it — Be specific about what you’ve lost. 2. Allow the feelings — There’s no wrong way to grieve. 3. Find safe spaces — Whether that’s with a trusted friend, family or coach, talk about it with someone who won’t rush you. 4. Honor it — Create your own ritual, journal about it, or give yourself intentional time to sit with the loss. 5. Separate identity from circumstance — You are more than what you’ve lost. ⸻ How Coaching Can Help In my work as a life and relationship coach, I often meet people who dismiss their own grief because “it wasn’t as bad” as someone else’s. But comparison doesn’t heal. Coaching offers you: • A safe, judgment-free space to talk openly about your loss • Help untangling complex emotions so you can see your next steps clearly • Tools for rebuilding your life without pretending the loss didn’t matter  • Support in finding meaning and purpose moving forward ⸻ Final Thoughts Loss is loss — whether it’s a person, a relationship, a job, a dream, your health, or a version of yourself you thought you’d always be. It matters. It shapes you. And it deserves to be acknowledged, not rushed through. Moving forward isn’t about “getting over it” — it’s about learning to carry it in a way that allows you to still build a life you love. You don’t have to do that alone.
By Genna Marie July 27, 2025
How to hold onto yourself when things get tense Uncomfortable conversations are a part of life. Whether it’s a disagreement with a partner, an awkward talk with a family member, or confronting a friend who crossed a line — tough moments will find us. And when they do, it’s easy to lose your footing. You might find yourself going silent to avoid conflict, saying things you don’t mean, or walking away feeling drained and unsettled. But what if you could stay grounded, clear, and true to yourself — even when the conversation feels messy or hard? ⸻ 1. Anchor Yourself Before You Speak Before the conversation even starts, check in with yourself: • What am I feeling right now? • What do I hope will come from this conversation? • What do I want to make sure I don’t compromise on? Example Practice: Take 3 minutes to write in your notes app: • “I feel frustrated because I haven’t felt heard.” • “I want more understanding — not just to be ‘right.’” • “I don’t want to leave this conversation doubting my worth.” Even this brief prep work can shift your entire approach. ——— 2. Lead With Curiosity, Not Defense It’s natural to feel defensive when something lands the wrong way. But instead of jumping in with: “That’s not true.” Try: “Can you say more about what you mean?” “I hear you — but I’m not sure I understand yet.” This keeps the conversation from spiraling and helps you stay present without needing to agree. Example Practice: Pause for just 5 seconds before replying — and choose a “curious opener” instead of a rebuttal. Write a few go-to lines you can use when your emotions rise: • “I want to understand your point, but I’m having a reaction right now.” • “Let’s slow this down — this matters to me.” ⸻ 3. Listen to Hear — Not Just to Respond In uncomfortable conversations, it’s easy to listen while preparing your defense. But when we do that, we miss the actual message — and conversations become battles instead of bridges. Example Practice: Try this during your next tough conversation: • When they finish speaking, repeat back what you heard: “What I’m hearing is that you felt left out when I didn’t include you in that decision. Is that right?” • Let them clarify if needed. Only then — after they feel heard — share your perspective. This doesn’t mean you have to agree. It means you’re choosing connection over combat. ⸻ 4. Protect Your Calm Without Playing Small You can be calm and firm. You can hold your boundary without raising your voice. Example Practice: Practice a few lines aloud before the conversation — just like you’d rehearse a presentation: • “I want to continue this conversation, but not like this.” • “It’s important to me that we both feel respected — and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now.” • “Let’s pause. I want to respond with care, not defensiveness.” ______ How I Can Help If you’re facing a conversation that feels overwhelming, emotional, or uncomfortable — you don’t have to go in alone. I offer 1:1 coaching sessions to help you: • Sort through your thoughts and emotions beforehand • Understand your needs and how to express them • Prepare your language with confidence and care • Stay regulated and grounded — no matter the outcome Together, we’ll practice clarity without defensiveness. Boundaries without shutdown. Truth without fear. Message me to book a session. You deserve support that honors your voice — and your peace.
By Genna Marie July 14, 2025
Starting Coaching: When Opening Up Feels Hard
More Posts